← When it’s hard

When you are not sure you believe it

You have thought something you would not say out loud in church.

Before any of it

You were not left to manage this on your own

Everything here rests on one thing, and it is not your strength. Before Christ went to the cross He promised He would not leave us as orphans, and He sent the Comforter to help us during these difficult times. Not afterwards. During.

“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you. Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:26–27

He is not a reward for coping well. He is not sent once you are strong enough to deserve Him. If you belong to Christ, the everyday Helper is already with you and already in you, and the first move in any hard season is to turn to Him before you turn to a plan.

Doubt

You have thought something you would not say out loud in church. Maybe: none of this is true. Maybe: God is real but He is not listening to me. And now there is a second problem on top of the first, because you feel like a fraud for sitting in the room.

What is true

Doubt brought into the light is not a threat to your faith. Hidden doubt is. The thought you refuse to say is the one that grows.

And you are in company you would not expect. On the cross, Christ Himself cried out, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” If that sentence is in the Bible, yours is allowed to be said out loud.

“Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, ‘Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!’” Mark 9:24

He got what he asked for. Not because his faith was impressive, but because he was honest about where it ran out. That is a prayer God answers.

Much of this is fought in the mind. Thoughts arrive, fears, accusations, arguments, and the instruction is not to sit and turn them over. Recognise the lie, reject it, replace it with what God has actually said, and keep walking. That is not something you do by force of will. It is the Spirit of truth doing it in you as you ask Him to.

What to do with it

  1. Ask the Spirit of truth to show you what is true. A doubt is a question about what is real. He is the one who teaches, and He is not offended by the question.
  2. Say it to God first. Plainly. He is not fragile and He already knows.
  3. Then say it to the right person. Not to just anyone. There is a page on who to tell, further down.
  4. Go back to what you know. Not what you feel today, what you know He did.

Drawn from Spiritual Weapons and Good Friday, taught at Garston Community Church.

If it is something else today

When nothing is happening You prayed, you meant it, and nothing has moved for a year. When you are worn out Not a crisis. Just empty, with nothing left in the tank. When you are the only one The only one in your family, your class, or on your shift.
And when you speak to someone

Who to tell

These pages keep saying tell someone. That does not mean tell anyone. It matters enormously who you take it to, and the wrong choice can do real harm, whether that is bad counsel or your story travelling round before you have finished telling it.

God’s people need God’s people. But Scripture qualifies who those people are, and so should we. When the early church needed men to carry responsibility, the criteria were named out loud:

“Therefore, brethren, seek out from among you seven men of good reputation, full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business.” Acts 6:3

Good reputation. Full of the Holy Spirit. Full of wisdom. That is the test, and it is the same test now.

What to look for

  • A brother or sister in ChristNot simply a kind person or a good listener. Someone who is actually walking with the Lord.
  • History with GodSomeone who has walked the path already and has years behind them, not only good intentions.
  • A good testimony among the peopleAsk yourself honestly what this person is known for. Reputation is not gossip, it is evidence.
  • Look at the fruit of their lifeLearn from pastors, teachers and godly mentors, and look at the fruit of their lives and their church. Fruit is slow and it does not lie.
  • Someone who will walk with you, not just hear youYou are not looking for an audience. You are looking for someone who will still be alongside you in three months.
  • Someone who can keep a confidenceIf they bring you other people’s business, they will take yours away with them.
“Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness.” Galatians 6:1

Be careful who you hand it to

Not everyone who is willing to listen is able to help. Do not take the deepest thing you are carrying to a group chat, to social media, or to someone whose own life is not steady.

If you have nobody, and no church

Some people reading this have no church, no Christian family, and nobody at all who fits the description above. If that is you, understand this first: you are not outside God’s provision and you are not stuck.

You can always pray. You do not need a building, a minister or an introduction to speak to God. You have direct access, and the Spirit who leads is already given to those who belong to Christ. Ask Him plainly for guidance and for the people you need, and then expect to be led.

And you are not asking Him to invent something. He has already set it up. The church is not a human arrangement that you have to hope exists near you. Christ Himself gave it:

“And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ.” Ephesians 4:11–12

Those are gifts given, deliberately, so that God’s people are equipped and built up. And the men who shepherd them are not self-appointed either. It is the same Spirit who comforts you who put them there:

“Take heed to yourselves and to all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood.” Acts 20:28

So finding a church is not luck, and it is not networking. It is asking the One who set them in place to lead you to the one He has for you.

What a church is actually for

Before you can tell whether a church will help you, it helps to know what one is for. It is not a service you attend and it is not entertainment. The pattern is plain: leaders equip believers, believers do the work of the ministry, and the whole body is built up. Equipping means teaching, training, correcting and encouraging, helping believers actually mature. And that equipping is for the ministry and for life: how you work, how you handle money, how you treat people, how you endure a season like the one you are in now.

Marks of a church that will help you

  • It equips you, it does not just host youYou should be being trained and matured, not merely attending. If you could stop going and nothing in you would change, something is missing.
  • It is under authorityUnder the Word of God, with leaders who are themselves accountable and not a law to themselves. A church under authority can be trusted with yours.
  • It calls you to prayer, fasting and holinessNot comfort only. Sanctification is a real process, and a healthy church walks you through it rather than around it.
  • It preaches the Spirit who transformsHe convicts of sin, He makes a person a new creation, and He builds Christ in you over years. Look for a church that expects people to actually change.
  • It goes outOutreach and reaching the lost, in line with the ministry of reconciliation, bringing people back to the ways and life of God. A church that never leaves the building is carrying half a mandate.
  • It honours the body as God’s templeYour body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. A church that teaches holiness in what you do with your body is treating you as God does.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation.” 2 Corinthians 5:17–18

That is the whole shape of it. The Spirit convicts you of sin, brings you to Christ, makes you new, and then hands you the same ministry of reconciliation, so that you go and bring others back to the ways and life of God. You are not the end of the line. You are part of how it continues.

And this is slow work, deliberately. Christ is formed in a person over years, not over a weekend. What He is building is not a better version of you. It is Christ in you, the hope of glory.

Where to start

  1. Ask, and keep asking. “Lord, lead me to Your people.” He is not reluctant. Ask daily until He answers.
  2. Look for a church that teaches the Bible, one that actually opens it and actually preaches it. That is the first filter and it removes most of the guesswork.
  3. Look at the fruit of its people and its leaders, the same test as above.
  4. Go more than once. You cannot read a church in a single visit, and one bad Sunday is not a verdict.
  5. Tell someone there that you are new. Nobody can come alongside you if nobody knows you have arrived.

If you are near Watford you are welcome here, and if you are not, God has a church for you where you are. Either way, do not carry it alone because you have not found anyone yet. Ask Him. He has already made provision for this.

COME EXPECTING. ♡ LEAVE ENCOURAGED. ♡ LIVE EMPOWERED.